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Metal Gear Rex
May 10th, 2010, 11:25
The Complaint Generator
http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

(This thing is awesome)

List "your" complaints about anyone here from members of KK to real life people by using this tool. Due to the lack of paragraphs this thing generates, try to space it out so people can read.

Example
I am writing to express my dismay and concern over Mr. Esko D Dumbass III's dysfunctional, cocky stratagems.

Let's get down to brass tacks: Aberrant slaves to fashion are more susceptible to Esko's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle he puts them in. They then lose all recollection that Esko's hysteria-producing philosophies are sufficient to give pause to the less thoughtful among us.

"Oh, oh," such people think. "We'd better help Esko prime the pump of negativism—just in case."

Now that this letter is over, I pray that my logic and passion have convinced you that Mr. Esko D Dumbass III is known for fabricating evidence.

A New Room
May 12th, 2010, 00:02
I think I should offer my sincere opinion on this!

Now what I am about to say is strictly off the record. On that understanding, I shall give you candidly and without circumlocution the best estimate of our present plight that I have been able to make. For openers, Chairman William Keith Kellogg had promised us liberty, equality, and fraternity. Instead, he gave us cameralism, antagonism, and fascism. I suppose we should have seen that coming, especially since there may be nothing we can do to prevent Kellogg from making good on his word to reap a harvest of death. When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by his rank-and-file followers, we experience psychological stress or "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is to lift the fog from Kellogg's thinking. Now that this letter is over, I pray that my logic and passion have convinced you that Chairman William Keith Kellogg's belief systems are not an isolated case of blasphemous, fastidious stoicism but a typical example of how whiney he can be.

dk2player
May 12th, 2010, 00:14
I just randomly punched this in. No one take offence to this

In this letter, I will try to describe keeperklan's utterances in such a way that my language will not offend and yet will still convey my message that keeperklan is hardly the first proponent of ignorant favoritism and it is unlikely to be the last. So let's begin, quite properly, with a brief look at the historical development of the problem, of its attempted solutions, and of the eternal argument about it. Keeperklan is frightened that we might expose its malversation. That's why it's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that it takes more than a mass of directionless ne'er-do-wells to recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and cooperation. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to educate the public on a range of issues. Keeperklan's projects are built on lies and they depend on make-believe for their continuation. Isn't it true that keeperklan is so incredibly contumelious that it really ought to change its name to "Contumelious McContumelious, the Contumelious King of the Contumelious"? If that's not true, tell me why not.

I am more than merely surprised by keeperklan's willingness to construct the spectre of a terrible armed threat. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, even keeperklan's serfs are afraid that keeperklan will take credit for others' accomplishments before the year is over. I have seen their fear manifested over and over again, and it is further evidence that even when keeperklan isn't lying, it's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable it to take advantage of human fallibility to quash other people's opinions. Please keep in mind that passion precludes keeperklan's ability to ignore trivialities and to concentrate on the important aspects of the problem. I know the following is a cheap shot, but keeperklan is an inconsiderate bigamist. I use that label only when it's true. If you don't believe it is, then consider that keeperklan's policies cannot stand on their own merit. That's why they're dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that I'm too shameless to address the legitimate anger, fear, and alienation of people who have been mobilized by keeperklan because they saw no other options for change.

Even by keeperklan's own account, if I had my druthers, it would never have had the opportunity to sow the seeds of discord. As it stands, keeperklan says that we can stop animalism merely by permitting government officials entrée into private homes to search for uneducated, sordid warmongers. Yet it also wants to reduce meaningful political discussions to "my team versus your team" identity-based politics. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask because it says that repulsive cadgers are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. That's its unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely devious and rash lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by keeperklan's attendants. Keeperklan often compares itself to Jesus, usually on the grounds that I'm trying to crucify it for speaking the truth. In that context, one could say that it's not necessarily difficult to free people from the fetters of fanaticism's poisonous embrace. We can begin simply by telling you a little bit about keeperklan and its two-faced jeremiads. See? I told you it wasn't necessarily difficult. We just need to remember that keeperklan often argues that everyone who scrambles aboard the keeperklan bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. A similar argument was first made over 1200 years ago by a well-known lout and was quickly disproved. In those days, however, no one would have doubted that keeperklan plays ducks and drakes with a native battery of idioms that prescribes such egregious collocations of vocables as the basic "put up with" for "tolerate" or "put at a loss" for "bewilder". As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to it. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that keeperklan twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. Keeperklan unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what it claims gives it the right to cashier anyone who tries to seek some structure in which the cacophony introduced by its lamentations might be systematized, reconciled, and made rational. The take-away message of this letter is that the lockstep ideological conformity of keeperklan's hirelings and their mindless parroting of keeperklan's vapid cliches about pauperism have reached a level of absurdity hardly matched by any historical example that comes to mind. Think about it. I don't want to have to write another letter a few years from now, in the wake of a society torn apart by keeperklan's parasitic indiscretions, reminding you that you were warned.