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  1. #1

    Default Lonely Maid

    Hello keeper klan

    This time i am gonna offfer a new kind of creature,i call:Lonely Maid.

    I hope you guys will like it,and it will make it in the wfto

    Name:Lonly Maid
    Health:Low
    Attack:moderate
    Armor:Low
    Accuracy:moderate
    Agility:moderate
    Speed:moderate
    Luck:moderate
    Recovery Rate:High(Due ter very low HP)
    Intelegense:High
    Construction:Low
    Training rate:moderate (will level up quickly,but will stray from duty quickly aswell to go to the librery,or for other,special needs.
    Training cost:moderate-High
    Wage:moderate-high
    Gender:female

    Skills:Level1-melee attack,attack with her nails.
    Level2-Call Undead,she will call a ghost,that will accompany here and follow here when idie,the ghost will be like a normal ghost,only that if it dies,the Maid will raise her back to life,one level below her,if the maid dies,the next time the ghost dies,it will die forever.
    Level3-Drain
    Level4-Float,Teleport(like the vampire)
    Level5-Curse,Blinding an enemy,making him loos 70% off his accuracy/agillity,and totay loose the ability to use ranged attacks,and also makes the enemy much slower for 15 secs.(cool down 10 sec)
    Level6-Summone Undead-summone 3 undead minions,to help her kill an enemy
    Level7-Rebound(the dwarf,warlock skill)
    Level8-Raise Undead,Raises a dead body to a skeleton or a ghoust,at level 1
    Level9-Soul Drive,Incerease attack for all undeads fighting with her,with 30% for 15 sec. Cool down 1 min
    Level10-Ritual Of Possession,The maid will use her most powerfull spell to encourage a Ghost to haunt an enemy,the ghost will hount and control the enemy with her life energy,when the life energy of the ghost is cosumed,the ghost will deasapirs for ever.(thus it will never reach hell nor heaven.),after the ghost desapit the consumed life energy wil also consume the possesd body.There is a 30% chance of falure,if the ghost wil faill to possess the enemy,it willbe consumed immidietly.(Cool Down:10 min)

    Information:

    The Lonely maid is a beautifull maid who has been seduced by her employer to have sex with him,after a while the employers wife have caught him with the maid,and the wife have threaten the employer that if he wont banish her from his life for ever,then she wil divorce.The employer have banned the maid out of his house,but the wife was sure that he wont make his promis,so stalked,kidnaped,and tortured the maid so she will never have the courage to comeback.the maid have been lefted jobless.After a while,the maid have desided to go back to her former employer,and ask for some money,or another job,otherwise she will be turn homeless.The employer agreed,but only with on condition,he missed her and he wanted to sleep with her again.The Maid disagreed,but as soon as the employer saw she wants to go,he caught her,and raped her viciously.The maid have became mentally sick,and she dident talk with anyone anymore she runned to the woods,and decided to suicide there by starvation.an evil devil have decided to abuse her,he offered her the power to summone ghosts to help her,protect her, and give her company,if she will give him her beauty,and her soul,and thus the "Lonely Maid" spirit have born.

    Behavior on Dungeon:The Lonely maid will allways hang out at the graveyard,if she havent been told otherwise,she will sit there,on one of the graves,and will chat with the spirits,inreasing the gravyard efficiency at creating vampires,she likes reaserching,and doesent have any problem to train,or manufacture,but she wont create anything worthwhile there.

    Battle Style:She will be a buffer&tank supporter hybrid,she will last long at battle,and will make a great buffer for undeads.

    Jobs:increase Graveyard efficiency,reaserch

    Hates:Man in generaly,she wont lair fight with them,but if she is forced to be around them for to much time,the that could make her feel a little edgy...

    Loves:Chating with spirits,every time she raises a spirit she will chat with her till infinit,or atleast till she gets attacked/angry/slapped/picked up.She will also like to go to the graveyard,to go and hangout with spirits there,and at the same time increase graveyard efficiency.

    Anger Reaction:She wont do anything special when sad,exept of talkig more often with ghousts at the graveyard,When Angry,She will go to a dark corner at your dungeon,and every male passing nearby will be attacked by her.

    Lair:She will have a large facny bed,she will relax there and talk with a ghost which will be infront of her.

    Entrance Effect:The portal area will become all covered with fog,and after a while she will apear floating her way out of the portal.

    Turture:Ever since the devil took her beauty,she became obsess with trying to retrieve it,(you can even see her when bored/doing nothing she will start to comb heself.) The turturer will use an iron comb and will start comb her skin with it.

    Hope you will lke it,Pleas leave comments

  2. #2

    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    Abilities need to be reworked -- as they are they are very powerful.

    Level2-Call Undead,she will call a ghost,that will accompany here and follow here when idie,the ghost will be like a normal ghost,only that if it dies,the Maid will raise her back to life,one level below her,if the maid dies,the next time the ghost dies,it will die forever.
    Level 2? Doubles (at least) the power of this unit.


    Level5-Curse,Blinding an enemy,making him loos 70% off his accuracy/agillity,and totay loose the ability to use ranged attacks,and also makes the enemy much slower for 15 secs.(cool down 10 sec)
    15sec 70% debuff that has a 10 second cooldown?

    Level6-Summone Undead-summone 3 undead minions,to help her kill an enemy
    Now 1 unit has become 5. Imba :3



    Level8-Raise Undead,Raises a dead body to a skeleton or a ghoust,at level 1
    Immediate skeleton? Interesting...

    Level10-Ritual Of Possession,The maid will use her most powerfull spell to encourage a Ghost to haunt an enemy,the ghost will hount and control the enemy with her life energy,when the life energy of the ghost is cosumed,the ghost will deasapirs for ever.(thus it will never reach hell nor heaven.),after the ghost desapit the consumed life energy wil also consume the possesd body.There is a 30% chance of falure,if the ghost wil faill to possess the enemy,it willbe consumed immidietly.(Cool Down:10 min)
    I'm not sure I entirely understand what this does, but it sounds overpowered lol


    She doesn't seem like a buffer/tank support -- more like a walking 1-lady-army after she reaches mid/high levels.


    Also -- what's with all the suggestions lately that are based on evil/ghost/spirit females?

    Sorry if this is poorly-formated or has typos, I can't see my screen because I'm in the sun, did my best to quote.

  3. #3
    Awakening Game Master Metal Gear Rex's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    Hello keeper klan

    This time i am gonna offfer a new kind of creature,i call:Lonely Maid.

    I hope you guys will like it,and it will make it in the wfto
    When I read this, I thought this was a clone of my Maiden except on the Creature Side. I'm not even goign to bother with a full reply, I'll just cover some of the things James missed.

    * * *

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    Level9-Soul Drive,Incerease attack for all undeads fighting with her,with 30% for 15 sec. Cool down 1 min
    So it increases the attack power of her 5 Undead Units?

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    Level10-Ritual Of Possession,The maid will use her most powerfull spell to encourage a Ghost to haunt an enemy,the ghost will hount and control the enemy with her life energy,when the life energy of the ghost is cosumed,the ghost will deasapirs for ever.(thus it will never reach hell nor heaven.),after the ghost desapit the consumed life energy wil also consume the possesd body.There is a 30% chance of falure,if the ghost wil faill to possess the enemy,it willbe consumed immidietly.(Cool Down:10 min)
    James, I think this is an instant kill move with 70% chance of working successfully. I think. I can't read much of what he's saying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    The Lonely maid is a beautifull maid who has been seduced by her employer to have sex with him,after a while the employers wife have caught him with the maid,and the wife have threaten the employer that if he wont banish her from his life for ever,then she wil divorce.The employer have banned the maid out of his house,but the wife was sure that he wont make his promis,so stalked,kidnaped,and tortured the maid so she will never have the courage to comeback.the maid have been lefted jobless.After a while,the maid have desided to go back to her former employer,and ask for some money,or another job,otherwise she will be turn homeless.The employer agreed,but only with on condition,he missed her and he wanted to sleep with her again.The Maid disagreed,but as soon as the employer saw she wants to go,he caught her,and raped her viciously.The maid have became mentally sick,and she dident talk with anyone anymore she runned to the woods,and decided to suicide there by starvation.an evil devil have decided to abuse her,he offered her the power to summone ghosts to help her,protect her, and give her company,if she will give him her beauty,and her soul,and thus the "Lonely Maid" spirit have born.
    That settles it, I hate the concept of this too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    Hope you will lke it,Pleas leave comments
    With overpowered spells and a bad concept, I can't say I see any hope for this suggestion. Best to start over and change the concept.
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  4. #4

    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    Ouch... i kinda worked hard for this creature... nevermaind,i had a feeling that her overpowerd spells would not be welcomed..

  5. #5
    Elite Dragon Mothrayas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    Ouch... i kinda worked hard for this creature... nevermaind,i had a feeling that her overpowerd spells would not be welcomed..
    If you knew they were overpowered from the start, then you should have fixed them before posting.

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  6. #6

    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    I really want a creature,who will have a role of creating other weak creature,so he will be like a boss or something. Maybe she cuold be a boss monster??

  7. #7
    Awakening Game Master Metal Gear Rex's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    I really want a creature,who will have a role of creating other weak creature,so he will be like a boss or something. Maybe she cuold be a boss monster??
    You'd have to revise the concept of her quite a lot, because this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    The Lonely maid is a beautifull maid who has been seduced by her employer to have sex with him,after a while the employers wife have caught him with the maid,and the wife have threaten the employer that if he wont banish her from his life for ever,then she wil divorce.The employer have banned the maid out of his house,but the wife was sure that he wont make his promis,so stalked,kidnaped,and tortured the maid so she will never have the courage to comeback.the maid have been lefted jobless.After a while,the maid have desided to go back to her former employer,and ask for some money,or another job,otherwise she will be turn homeless.The employer agreed,but only with on condition,he missed her and he wanted to sleep with her again.The Maid disagreed,but as soon as the employer saw she wants to go,he caught her,and raped her viciously.The maid have became mentally sick,and she dident talk with anyone anymore she runned to the woods,and decided to suicide there by starvation.an evil devil have decided to abuse her,he offered her the power to summone ghosts to help her,protect her, and give her company,if she will give him her beauty,and her soul,and thus the "Lonely Maid" spirit have born.
    ...does not sound appealing, in all honesty. I hope I don't need to highlight parts to get my point across now.
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  8. #8

    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    Umm so ill delete my story? (i readly dont care,since its just a stupid thing i wrote after i saw a tragic movie.. )

  9. #9
    Awakening Game Master Metal Gear Rex's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeper_Infernal View Post
    Umm so ill delete my story? (i readly dont care,since its just a stupid thing i wrote after i saw a tragic movie.. )
    If you thought it was stupid then perhaps you shouldn't have posted it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mothrayas View Post
    If you knew they were overpowered from the start, then you should have fixed them before posting.
    Looks like you knew what was wrong with it before you even recieved feedback on it...
    Dungeon Keeper 2 Patch: With More Balance and Pie [Hiatus]
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  10. #10

    Default Re: Lonely Maid

    Well at that moment it looked cool,but now i regret it,thus i wont mind deleting it..

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